You all have heard
of foolish questions
and no doubt you've wondered why.
A person who will ask them
will expect a sensible reply.
Did you ever bring a girl a
box of candy,
say right after tea,
and notice how she grabs it
and then she'll say, is this for me?
Foolish questions you should
answer when you can.
The candy's for your father, or mother,
or John the Hard Hand
I just wanted you to see it,
and now I'm gonna take it away
Wasn't that a foolish question?
Well, you'll hear them nearly every day
Then nearly every morning,
there's someone round the place
Who sees you take the shaving brush
and lather up your face
And as you give the razor
a preliminary wave
This person'll always ask you,
Are you gonna shave?
Foolish questions, your answer is, I hope.
No, I ain't prepared for shaving,
I just like to taste the soap.
I like to take the shaving brush
And paint myself this way.
Wasn't that a foolish question?
Well, you'll hear them
nearly every day.
And then you all have seen
the man who meets you on your way
He asks you where you're going,
then he'll listen while you say
That you're going to the funeral
of poor old brother Ned
Just as soon as you've told him he'll say,
is Ned dead?
Foolish questions, you might as well reply
No, he thought he'd have the funeral
and then later on he'd die
Brother Ned was so original
till he wanted it that way
Wasn't that a foolish question
you'll hear merely every day
Suppose an elevator boy
forgets to close the door
And you should tumble down the shaft,
say, twenty -seven floors
And as you've reached the bottom,
and you're lying there inert,
The first person who comes along
will ask you, Are you hurt?
Foolish questions,
your dying words are no.
I was in an awful hurry,
and this here elevator runs too slow.
I find I save a lot of time
by coming down this way.
Wasn't that a foolish question?
You'll hear it nearly every day.
You