Now when I was a baby,
I was my mother's joy.
In fact, the neighbors all agreed
I was a handsome boy.
No doubt about my handsomeness
being too complete.
Except for this here smeller of mine,
it stuck out half a feet.
To my tour -a -lure -a -lady,
to my tour -a -lure -a -lay,
To my tour -a -lure -a -lady,
to my tour -a -lure -a -lay.
I grew to be a great big boy,
I wasn't worth a darn.
My daddy sent me off to school,
I had no sense to learn.
I fell asleep in school,
one day I slipped right off the seat.
My teacher grabbed me by my smeller
and it stretched another feet
to my tour -a -lure -a -lady,
to my tour -a -lure -a -lay,
to my tour -a -lure -a -lady,
to my tour -a -lure -a -lay.
Well, then I met a pretty gal,
she lived next door but one.
She asked me in one evening
and I thought we'd have some fun.
Well, I made a dash to kiss her,
I would have kissed her all complete.
But my smeller hooked her bonnet,
and I missed her half a feet.
To my tour -a -la -la -lady,
to my tour -a -la -la -lay.
To my tour -a -la -la -lady,
to my tour -a -la -la -lay.
Well, we finally got married,
and she makes a darling bride.
If Kissin's on the program,
well, she takes it on the side.
We even have a little one,
for looks he can't be beat.
Except for that there smeller of his
that sticks out half a feet.
To my tur -lur -lady,
to my tur -lur -lady,
To my tur -lur -lady,
to my tur -lur -lady.
Thank you.