sisters
The under 18's and the over 60's
The numerous ones who dialed my number
and hung up as soon as I said "hello"
The 35 or 40 of you who
made dates with me and never showed up.
Including the one who complained his body was
so powerful he couldn't control it anymore
The desperate wife- seekers,
the already married
The one who was so one- sided
that he could think of nothing but sex
And then have the gall to ask me if his nation
ality was the reason I wouldn't sleep with him
The many who couldn't get it up when I was agreeable and the many
who could and did when I was not
The pleasant young foreigner who turned out to be
the private property of his gigantic girlfriend
The ones who were so grot
esque in their appearance
That I couldn't possibly get past their faces to even consider
a relationship with them, especially sexual
The sharks, and the geeks,
and the sadists, the latter category which I had specifically stated I didn't want
And the ones who wanted endless dirty talk,
the ones who wanted to be punished
The ones who could only boast about the size
of their bank- rolls and or their equipment
And this definitely in cludes the teacher
who said: "All the kids want my stuff"
The businessman who had an adjective for every letter of his last
name: "R is for rich"
The ones, and there were many,
who said: "my name is so and so, and so how far do you go"
The 300 pound lady
judge who screamed abuse at me
The transvestite who wanted me to support
him
The numerous young studs who had nothing to offer besides the
negative results of their goddamn blood tests
The diminutive actor and the other
short ones
The astronomer who cried like a baby and said he'd been betrayed
by every star he ever knew
The fanatic priest who wanted me to confess to
things I'd never even dreamed of
The worn out soldiers, the burned out
poets, the pumped up jocks and the used up kids
The racists, including the one at whose place I left
my white sweater
And I'd rather cut off my right thumb than go
back for it
The drunks, junkies, crack and coke- heads,
the multitude of liars
And especially the nice
ones who never called back!