Kunci: D minor
Verse 1
Am
Alright, are you guys ready
Eb
for the Phil Johnson special taping?
Alright, let's give it up for the man of the hour,
Mr. Phil Johnson!
Hello everybody! Here we are!
Thank you so much for coming out,
I'm excited to have you guys here,
Am
this is fantastic.
Eb
I was playing in Las Vegas recently,
which is always fun, because I mean,
the audiences are all hopped up
on cheap booze and hormones, and I mean, the senior
center shows are tough, you guys, but late at night after,
about midnight after the gig,
I like to go out walking on the Vegas Strip a little bit,
G#
watch all the ladies carrying the
shoes
that were a good idea six hours
Eb
ago.
I don't know about
walking around barefoot
Am
in a city that's paved with chlamydia,
Eb
all right? That seems like a bad idea.
You're gonna get feet herpes.
I'm pretty sure that's gonna happen.
It's a bad idea.
You got to build up
a protective layer
of stripper flyers
to keep that from happening, you know? Ladies,
look, I think we can do away with the high heels,
the giant high heels and stuff.
Look, I know what they're
for.
They make everything look more shapely and whatever,
but, look, you don't have to walk around
like a drunken giraffe,
all right?
Because Newsflash will
still look at your butt.
All right, doesn't matter if it's here or
here.
Doesn't really matter, all right?
Whoo!
No guy has ever gone,
man, she'd be a lot hotter if her ass was another
four inches off the ground.
All right.
Unless of course your ass is currently four
Am
inches off the ground.
Eb
In which case you are a puppy
and should not be looked at in that
way.
It's disturbing.
But when I go out walking on the strip,
it gets a little dicey
because as the guys out there get drunker,
I start to get real pretty.
Oh yeah.
From the back, right?
From the back.
Yeah, oh yeah. Yeah.
If I kind of stand like this a little bit, right?
And I'm wearing heels.
I like to give them this one,
though, when the cat call me,
I like to give them this one.
Who, me?
Yeah, because I don't want to be that dude's Vegas story,
is what I'm saying.
Dude, she was cute,
but she had pubes on her face.
It was weird.
Am
No, I will be the one that got away, man,
Eb
yeah.
Forever just a fantasy girl
known as Pube Face.
That's me. That's me.
I can't tell you how many times I've
seen this on the freeway.
I would drive right next to that dude, too.
30,
G#
40 miles. Oh, man, you should see his face
when I pull into his driveway.
It's classic. It's awesome.
Thank Thank you.
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