If you can't be careful,
try to be good
Well, we cared and we cared
as much as we could
We always agreed, me and my man
We said someday we'll try the family plan
The first thing we tried was nothing at all
Of course, amateur writing,
everything's here for
We charted my tides, followed my moon
But then someday, it came a little too soon
I got the nine month of blues
Too much to gain and too much to lose
But he was kinda happy
when he heard my news
I got the nine -month blues
There was him and me
and the baby made three
But we made up our minds
to stay that way
With little bitty things made
of rubber and such
And cause we were friends
we decided to go Dutch
And when we said, I do,
it was a solemn oath
So we did and we did
and it cleaves us both
We still can't figure out what went wrong
But that's the first line
of the nine -month song
I got the nine -month blues
Too much to gain and too much to lose
I get out the dress and the sensible shoes
I got the nine -month blues
I said, this time around
I'm gonna cast my stone
I'm gonna have a chance
to call my life my own
But the S .P .C., the F .P .A.
They said, keep that child,
don't fling it away
The doctor said he had the right to refuse
The law says if you want to beat the noose
You gotta be rich or near to your grave
So away I went again
on my nine -month rave
I got the nine -month blues
Too much to gain, too much to lose
And that time around, I got a McTwoos,
I got the nine -month blues
The next thing we tried
was the capital P,
and I -L -L is what that made me.
My head buzzed open and
I nearly went crazy,
and my mood started rising
every fourteen days.
It says I may be sick,
but I'm safe and free.
We started making honey
like a couple of bees.
But one late morning,
I must have forgot
Dropped me right back
to the nine -month slot
I got the nine months of blues
Too much to gain and too much to lose
I want my old man to be happy
when he hears my news
I got the nine months of blues
I got kids everywhere, two, three, four, five
I just can't swim without taking the dive
I went for advice, they said it to me
They said the next thing to try is the IUD
But the small print allows
that the loopity -loop
Has a margin of error,
then you're in the soup
But your kid'll be normal,
so don't you fret
Even though you leased it
for the nine -month let
I got the nine -month blues
Too much to gain, too much to lose
I better get my old man
to disconnect his cues
I got the nine -month blues
I love my man, I love my kids,
but if I have any more,
I'm gonna blow my lid.
It's not just the 40 weeks on my mind,
it's also the washing hanging on my line.
It could be the worry on the old man's face,
or thinking of the future
of the female race.
It all began with a loving and laughter,
then so much care.
For such a long time
after every nine months of blues.
Too much to gain, too much to lose,
now don't you think
we ought to have the right to choose to
sing the twenty year blues?