Kunci: Eb major
Intro 1
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Bm
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Bm
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Bm
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G
Bm
Verse 1
Bm
All the seats at the Sunday masses
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Filled with the masses' massive
asses
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Classes pass as fast as molasses
G
D
Ceremonial reading glasses
Bm
Read a little bit of Leviticus
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All the kids are a little too little for this
D
D
All the parents nod in agreement
G
D
I think I can vaguely see what He meant
Bm
G
Bm
It's too early in the morning, glory
D
To read another allegory story
The father reads a little bit farther
D
G
Assuring the assured that they
When God, in verse forty-five
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Said Said that slaves are okay to buy
E
D
He meant that people all from the start
G
Each have 'slaves' within their
D
hearts
Bm
Things that we have sold or bought
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That are forced to pick our
moral cotton
D
God calls us to set these free
G
D
Free our hearts from slavery
Bm
And then as God goes on to explain
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The logistics of buying and
selling slaves
G
D
Uh, he, the bible's sorta like uh,
there's like, typos
Bm
In the back, I sit and I nod
D
To the beats that are bumping
from my iPod
D
My God they're starting to pray
G
D
Bm
And over the music I can hear them say
Dear God, dear Lord,
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dear vague muscular man with a beard or a sword
Bm
Dear good all seeing being
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My way or the highway Yahweh
Bm
D
Bm
The blue balled anti-masturbator
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The great all-loving faggot faggot hater
I'd like to thank your holy might
G
D
For making me both rich and white
Bm
And though this is your day of rest
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I come to you with one request
There's so much pain
G
D
Wars and drugs and homeless people
Bm
Sadness where there should be joy
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Hate and rape and Soulja Boy
E
D
A world in darkness needs your light
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So I'm sure your schedule's pretty tight
Bm
But my dog just had surgery
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If you could fix that first?
D
G
Jeses
Verse 2
Messing's fingers
D
G
D
Bm
Obama could you pass
some hope to the Pope
who wanna elope
See the church said nope
Bm
so the bros can't cope
G
The bros can grope but the
Bm
They've been in love and
they've been addicted
Benedict did
'Cause in the holy land of the Lord
He's the holy landlord
And dicks are evicted
'Cause you can be a Benedict
Bm
D
If you've been a dick
under Benedict
E
D
But you can't have Benedicts
G
Because there's only one pope
Bm
D
Bm
What, yeah, a dick on a pope is
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Just like a soap on a rope
'Cause it's pointless,
Throw up your bibles,
Christ has risen
Hallelujah, now it's raining men
Bm
D
Because the gender ratio
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Winos at the Eucharist station,
G
trans-gendered-substantiation
D
Bm
Jesus Je sus Jesus
wasn't the Messiah
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Get back I'm a heretic and I'm on fire
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It was Oedipus those holy nights
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The holy motherfucking christ
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Bm
I'm a blasphemah
Post-Katrina
On a crusade to cruise aids
You're too late,
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we're fucked we don't need ya
Verse 3
Amen, in the name of the father,
son and holy ghost
Head, shoulders, knees and toes
G
D
Turn up your nose, strike that pose
Outro 1
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