Satan gave me a taco
and it made me really sick
The chicken was all raw
and the grease was mighty thick
The rice was all rancid
and the beans were so hard
I was getting kinda dizzy
eating all the lard
There was aphids on the lettuce
and I ate every one
And after I was done,
the salsa melted off my tongue
Pieces of tortilla got stuck in my throat
And the stains on my clothes
burned a hole through my coat
My stomach was trembling,
I broke out in a rash
I was so dry and thirsty,
and I didn't have no cash
So I went and found a hose,
tore off all my clothes
Turned on the water
and it shot right up my nose
Some old lady came along
and she thought I was a freak
So she beat me with my handbag
until I could hardly speak
I was lying there naked,
my body badly bruised
In a hole of my own blood,
unconscious and confused
When the cops came and got me
and threw me in their van
I woke up on the ceiling
and I couldn't find my hand
They took me to the judge,
his eyes are glowing red
The courtroom was filled with
witches and the dead
When the sheriff was a hellhound
with vines and claws
The prisoners were tied up
and chained to the walls
The air was getting thick,
the smoke was getting thicker
The judge read the verdict,
said, cut off his head
But he placed me on the altar,
and he raised up the axe
And my head was about to explode
When I noticed the marshall's stats
I noticed all the smoke machines
The cameras and the lights
Some guy with a microphone
Runnin' around dancin' in tights
And I noticed the crew
And the band playin' down below
And I realized I was in
a rock video record
So I went and joined the band,
then I went out on tour
And I smoked a lot of heroin,
then I passed out in the door
I made out with the groupies,
started fires backstage
Made a lot of money,
and I gave it all away
Well the band got killed,
so I started a solo career
And I won all the awards,
and I drank all the beer
They opened up a taco stand,
just to smell the smell
I'm cookin' with the devil,
I'm ridin' down in hell