Kunci: E major•
Verse 1
B
A
B
If your ass is a Chinese restaurant
C#m
I'll have the poo-poo plat ter
B
A
platter
B
My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed
C#m
E
B
me in Home Ec. class
A
B
Later in the afternoon some jarheads in
C#m
B
A
the locker room kicked my ass
B
I said guys I'm like you I like
Verse 2
C#m
A
Want to see how many push-ups I I can do?
B
I just wish I was queer so
Chicks dig guys that are
B
Queer guys that don't dig
Verse 3
E
B
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
A
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
B
But if I were handsome just imagine
C#m
E
how great it would be
B
A
B
Incognito as gay though but not actually
C#m
that way though pseudo homo
Verse 4
C#m
B
Phony
A
B
Maybe it's a stupid theory
or maybe just stupidity
E
C#m
But if I was a queerbee in
B
Scoring with a super model
would be easy
C#m
Verse 5
A
'Cause 'super model' means voluptuous
B
but is also is synonymous with
C#m
E
'Super dumb'
B
A
Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd
B
treat me like a sister and soon
B
Verse 6
A
B
That trusted friend that cares that
E
rubs her back and braids her hair
C#m
No it wouldn't be a week
A
before I'm in her underwear
B
E
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Verse 7
Chicks dig guys that are
B
Queer guys that don't dig
E
B
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
A
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
B
Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my
C#m
E
denim it's what's in my genes
Verse 8
A
B
only smoked meat the only sausage
C#m
I would eat is made by Jimmy
B
Dean
A
B
See I'm not to keen on
C#m
No I'm not Princess Di and
A
I don't want to be a queen
Verse 9
B
E
C#m
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
B
A
B
A
F#
E
C#m
B
A
B
A
F#
A
Any way if I were gay I'd have to
B
C#m
E
change my name to Dirk or Lewis
B
A
Hang out with my mom's hair stylist
B
his name is Kip he's got a lisp he
C#m
B
Talks like this
Verse 10
A
B
And wear my mother's lingerie
E
learn the songs of Broadway
C#m
And appreciate Depeche Mode
B
C#m
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Verse 11
Chicks dig guys that are
B
Queer guys that don't dig
C#m
Chicks dig guys that are
E
B
E
B
Queer guys that don't dig
C#m
Chicks dig guys that are
Verse 12
B
Queer guys that don't dig
C#m
E
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
A
B
E
B
C#m
B
See
C#m
E
A
C#m
B
E
B
C#m
B
C#m
E
A
C#m
B
E
B
I'm not queer I'm too ugly
C#m
B
And I don't shave my heiny
Verse 13
C#m
E
Don't shave my heiny
A
C#m
B
E
B
C#m
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
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